Wednesday, March 09, 2016

A view from Sutton Bank, North Yorkshire...

                      A poem from Kelly Deschler.

                                     "Melting snows begin to fade.

                           As a newborn season arrives.
                              Refreshing our lives grown dull.
                                Cradled in green budding leaves,
                                    Hushed by the winds of spring."

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Gravitational waves...

that stretch and contract the universal fabric have been discovered which proves once and for all that everything, including us stretch and contract with the cosmic chop. To paraphrase Prospero, "We are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is boundless with toing and froing."

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Monday, August 10, 2015

Pitcher plant in France eats only foreign...

hornets reports BBC. Evil Asian hornets with talons like Fu Manchu and a taste for the saintly European bee have finally met their match in the pitcher plant Sarracenia. "Asian hornets are a menace to beehives." Says an unnamed bee lover.

A spokesbug for the Ancient Order of Asian Hornets replying to the charge said, "We are a menace but we're also part of a growing movement to eat more insects. Call us a green menace if you must. Yes, yes I know we're really yellow and some other colour that's not black but you catch my drift." Asked to comment on being eaten themselves the spokesbug said, "With us it's a ying and yang thing. One day you eat the bear the next day the bear eats you. We're not remotely like your European bees, always whining, never happy. For us it's an honour to be eaten by Sarracenia. Know why it's called a pitcher plant? One whiff and you'll pitch into anything. Ha ha ha. That's a little hornet joke. No? Ah well, please yourselves. Any more questions, comments? "Good, because I'm late for a beehive party. Harry, fetch the car round."

Thursday, August 06, 2015


Souvenir  (link to crackly old vid on youtube but a great tune nevertheless)

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Ancient Sperm...

found hidden in rock, shock. On seeing daylight the aged Sperm blinked and said. "I got lost, it was dark. Hey where are the guys? Billy, Trev, Arthur. We were swimming, down a long tunnel, it seemed long at the time. We were excited. We'd even practised... My God this place has changed. Last thing I remember was hitting my head. I hope the others are okay."

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Depressed chicken loses will to live...

reports the Renfrew Gazette. This sad tale of maltreatment by a nasty farmer might have achieved another ending but for the vet who then broke it's neck. Freed from a lifetime of shit the poor bird glimpsed salvation for the briefest moment cradled in the arms of a kindly grey haired gentleman with warm but firm hands. A little too firm as it turned out. Squawk!