that stretch and contract the universal fabric have been discovered which proves once and for all that everything, including us stretch and contract with the cosmic chop. To paraphrase Prospero, "We are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is boundless with toing and froing."
hornets reports BBC. Evil Asian hornets with talons like Fu Manchu
and a taste for the saintly European bee have finally met their match
in the pitcher plant Sarracenia. "Asian hornets are a menace to
beehives." Says an unnamed bee lover.
A spokesbug for the Ancient Order of Asian Hornets replying to the charge said, "We are a menace but we're also part of a growing movement to eat more insects. Call us a green menace if you must. Yes, yes I know we're really yellow and some other colour that's not black but you catch my drift." Asked to comment on being eaten themselves the spokesbug said, "With us it's a ying and yang thing. One day you eat the bear the next day the bear eats you. We're not remotely like your European bees, always whining, never happy. For us it's an honour to be eaten by Sarracenia. Know why it's called a pitcher plant? One whiff and you'll pitch into anything. Ha ha ha. That's a little hornet joke. No? Ah well, please yourselves. Any more questions, comments? "Good, because I'm late for a beehive party. Harry, fetch the car round."
found hidden in rock, shock. On seeing daylight the aged Sperm blinked
and said. "I got lost, it was dark. Hey where are the guys? Billy,
Trev, Arthur. We were swimming, down a long tunnel, it seemed long at
the time. We were excited. We'd even practised... My God this place has
changed. Last thing I remember was hitting my head. I hope the others are okay."
reports the Renfrew Gazette. This sad tale of maltreatment by a nasty farmer might have achieved another ending but for the vet who then broke it's neck. Freed from a lifetime of shit the poor bird glimpsed salvation for the briefest moment cradled in the arms of a kindly grey haired gentleman with warm but firm hands. A little too firm as it turned out. Squawk!