Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Salford City Council...

it of the head cameras is about to pilot a new generation of ticket machines. The latest electronic warden, still at the teething stage, not only issues penalties but can actually hunt down miscreants who seek to avoid paying. Deaths so far fall well within the design quotient though the trampling problem was, to say the least, unexpected. But hey, if people won't stop when commanded then be it upon their own head, or what's left of it after apprehension. Okay, some tragedies were unfortunate, especially those involving children but a manufacturer's statement indicates numbers are expected to decline with the installation of gamma scanners. A spokesperson for the Council said "Our aim is to drive crime off the streets and back into the home where it belongs."

I think we can all say amen to that.

Monday, May 28, 2007

I want to say...

something about Salford City Council who have attached cameras to the heads of their traffic wardens but will have to save it for tomorrow. Mind you they're a tad slow compared to traffic wardens in Manchester.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Dark matter found...

shock. Dark Matter which by all accounts is dark has been found by astronomers using the Hubble Telescope. Apparently dark matter constitutes approx 85% of the universe which probably means it's even in tea. Meanwhile Dark Energy makes up the bulk of what's remaining of the universe. Being Dark energy I assume it's part of what helps keep the dark tea hot. Buy hey, what do I know?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Was cycling...

yes cycling down the Bridgewater canal this morning and came across these little ducklings swimming in a row. They were happily twittering along and I thought would soon be large enough to grace any Sunday table.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Whilst mooching..

through Guyana Gyal's blog I see mentioned in the comments an insect called The Blandford Fly.

Although G's post is about more serious biting insects, she does live in Guyana after all, I'm much taken by the quaintly named Blandford Fly. Of course the good folk of Blandford in Dorset seem to view this fly with less enthusiasm, however, in fly naming circles I think The Blandford Fly has done very well indeed. After all it could have been called The Ugly Hook Fly of Blandford Drain or some such thing but nope, in the name stakes it hit bulls eye first time.

The Blandford Fly reminds me of those 60's TV series such as The Persuaders, or Jason King, where chaps might wear a frilly shirt and sleep with lots of women to save them from surly types who were also thin. Indeed, I'm almost certain the original Blandford Fly was some TV fop who drove fast cars and knew the importance of washing colours separately. The Blandford Fly, a modern hero, brave, sensitive, and not at all afraid of using the delicate cycle on silk. Whadda guy!

Thursday, May 10, 2007


I lost the comment facility on yesterday's post below.

Bugger. I've no idea where it went. I hate this technical stuff. I am to technical stuff what the rain was to Noah's ark. Of absolutely no use whatsoever, in fact even a little dangerous.

Hey! I found it again. Am I not a genius?

Phew. Well, that's another life crisis dealt with. Dusts off hands and moves on purposefully.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Hot news...

on Herod. Archeologists have found his tomb. Having broken through a wall and down some steps the diggers discovered a huge throne constructed entirely from the bones of little children and situated beneath two murals. The first shows a hung over Herod at a large window outside of which children are playing. The caption says 'Herod demands someone silence the children.' The second mural shows a post slaughter Herod asking 'Was that too harsh? Anyone?'

Not a nice man, though I understand that apart from being king he was also a regular slaughterer of folk so the kids thing was nothing new. Well, okay, even by his standards it was over the top but what else can one expect from a friend of the Romans?

Monday, May 07, 2007

Today Sean and I...

have been planting and pruning and propagating in my back yard. Sean was spurned by his lover last night and so arrived at my front door, 11am on this bank holiday morning filled with verve and displacement energy. Never being one to look a gift horse in the mouth I let him loose and lo we cleaned out all the pots before planting trailing lobelia, marigolds, snapdragons and lots of other wonderful flowers whose names are too many for me to remember. I will post photos once they bloom.

Sean left around 2pm, declaring ended his relationship with P whom he's known for three weeks. I firmly believe my little yard, like a phoenix, has risen from the ashes of Sean's relationship with P. Given the amount of decorating I need doing indoors it's a shame he doesn't split up more often.

But then again three weeks is a record for him so I might get the decorating done after all. Wey hey! Hmmm, I sense a business opportunity. By synchronising with neighbourhood decorating or odd job rhythms, his relationship rhythms, a fortune might be earned. Could design a flier "SEAN 'O' JOB" GET HIM WHILE HE'S HOT! will deliver to door. Very low maintenance - All that's required is cups of tea and a fake interest in his problems. WORK GUARANTEED. (UNTIL HE MEETS SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS). SEAN 'O' JOB - available every three weeks. (SEAN 'O' JOB is a company limited only by his lust)

Right, that's being posted to the printers first thing on the morrow.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ahhh, bliss...

on a Wednesday eve in spring as the sun goes down.