in release horror reports the BBC. Pope Francis who likes to be known as Francis last weekend released two peace doves from his bedroom window that were promptly devoured by a seagull and a crow. Microphones recorded the following.
Dove one: "I'm free, I'm free. What the fuck!..."
Dove two: "My god they've got Bertie. Fucking hell... Arrrggghhhhh..."
A spokesdove told Associated Press, "No one saw that coming."