party in Leeds last Saturday night to be fixed up by good friends, however they gave me the wrong clues about whom I was supposed to meet. God knows how many times I was told that she was wearing a pink top. Later on because I was being tardy and a bit slow they boldly introduced me to the mate of 'pink top' woman. Like a trooper I pumped her for information only to be told her friend was married and to the bloke with whom she was then smooching.
Hmm, a tough test.
In a single evening I was expected to ruin a marriage because 'pink top' wanted to cop with someone else. Having garnered every morsel I could from 'orange top' about her mate I went for a refill of wine. My two friends descend breathlessly asking how I'd got on. I said it was quite a challenge but if 'pink top' wanted a bit on the side then I was prepared to sacrifice myself to her carnal desires, the husband though might turn out to be a problem. Their puzzlement indicated they had no idea what I meant so I repeated myself this time more slowly to help them understand. It subsequently became clear that orange top woman was their target for me and not only this but that her orange top was in fact pink.
A long and hissed argument ensued about what constituted pink.
Either way I told them that orange top woman was not my type as she was a bit arrogant and prickly. Also during the short term of our conversation she must have tossed her hair at least 20 times and on each occasion it fell with a wisp that curled in over her lips and mouth. A fetching image you might think had she not reminded me so much of a horse. Indeed throughout the encounter intrusive statements like "six to one favourite in the three thirty at Ascot" tannoyed loudly in my head and proved to be a distraction. After all I'm not generally a gambler but the going was soft to medium and apparently she'd won her last two races.
I was driven home later by my very patient friend and put to bed. Spookily whilst slipping into unconsciousness I heard a whinny in the distance. It was only the wind... or was it?
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