cause panic in New York, or so says Friday's Guardian Newspaper. Rather than another acid tale of Wall Street high life this creepy story focuses instead on New York low life, to wit, bed bugs. So confident have our little friends become, it is reported, they're parading openly and some might say brazenly in department stores and upmarket residences. To curtail ensuing panic the mayor has demanded their extinction. A mayoral spokesperson said, "We demand their extinction." Speaking on condition of anonymity a spokesbug declared, "The hysteria may be entirely justified given our nature but hey man what all this stuff about extinction? Jeeze, even Hedge Funds get a better press."
Later, whilst mopping brow the spokesbug was overheard telling a friend.
"Damn, wish I'd not linked us to Hedge Funds."
14 comments:
squash them all, death to blood-suckers!
after halloween, of course. Lets not be hasty.
I applaud your decision to delay the cull until after halloween as that is my birthday.
I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright Nowoooooooooooooooh
Coming soon: the travel bug. Bites you on the bum as you fly.
Something used to bite me at nights, then I discovered a flea.
A FLEA for goodness' sake and I don't even have a dog. Then I remembered, some friends have dogs.
I hunted the wretches down...the flea, not the friends or the dogs...and squashed them flat and blood-free.
Ha.
Who's baaad?
When's Halloween?
Happy hooooowlerin' birday, Dan.
G,
Halloween is the 31st October. It's supposed to be the night when witches, ghosts and ghouls walk the earth. Children dress up as monsters and things go bump in the night.
Not sure of its origins, no doubt it's recorded in Wikipedia.
x
So that's your birthday, eh?
Will you fly into London town on a broom to celebrate or will you go in a big pun'kin?
I just realised I said 'wretches' while talking about one flea...when I'd actually found two.
I HATE fleas. I think, to be really scary on Halloween night, people should dress as rats, fleas and bedbugs.
Or Hedge Funds.
Brrrrr. Hedge funds. Too scary.
G,
Today is my birthday. I will not be flying down to London on a broomstick or transforming into a pumpkin, though I shall transform in to a very drunk person as this evening unfolds.
Alcohol, ah, a magic all of its own.
G&H,
Hedgefunds, what is it about hedges that requires business to gamble billions of everyone elses money? In the UK hedges are nice things, shrubbery to divide on piece of land from another. Hedges can be decorative or purely practical. Hedges can be decorative and practical. However, since the banking crisis even hedges are no longer safe. And don't get me started on hedgehogs... Do they have hedgehogs in California? Or Guyana? I need to be told.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dan! May all your tricks be treats...
No hedgehogs in either California or Michigan, Dan. Unless, of course, you mean Hedge Hogs, the ones who try to Hedge financial instruments in both directions simultaneously, thereby Hogging the gains. If instead you mean those small creatures that seem to be inexplicably loved in Britain - no, none here, except in zoos. Very confusing conversation.
Happy belated birthdayyyy. Have you recovered? I hope you didn't fall off the broom into a hedge, or worse, on to a hedgehog.
I don't think we have 'em in Guyana...some of what we have here are worse though.
Well, you two. No hedgehogs in the Americas, shame. Mind you, they're generally flea ridden so would not be popular in parts of Georgetown, methinks even if they were native.
Britain has no wildlife than can kill a person so it's risk free. Of course in the rutting season there's always the danger of being gored by a deer but only if you get in the way. And that's about it. No poisonous insects and the only dangerous snake is so mild it rarely appears.
My kinda country!!
Ha, I bet you'll change your mind after seeing the uni. students in London.
Okay, jokes aside...actually, not aside...please go and pick up your LOL award. One guess where.
G,
An award? I'll be right over...
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