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The Independent reported on a study done at the University of Kentucky demonstrating that pigeons are inveterate gamblers. The four birds involved: Eddy 'The Pigeon' Pigeon; Johnny 'Are You Looking at Me?' Pigeon; Leon 'Stumpy Pigeon' Pigeon (so named because he has no feet) and his cousin Dermot 'These are not my wings' McGuire Pigeon are well known amongst the Columbidae as fleecers of the unsuspecting. Gerald 'I've a Migraine' Pigeon, spokesbird for the Kentucky Chapter of "Nod and Poo, Nod and Poo" told a local reporter, "Recently we've been trying hard to clean up our act, staying off window ledges, eating stodgy food, that sort of thing so it's disappointing when studies such as this appear. It sets us back. I'm afraid those four wily birds have done us no favours whatsoever. Sorry, but you'll have to excuse me, I'm desperate for the bathroom... yes right now... fortunately there's a car... it's your car... bollocks..."
You learn something new everyday.
12 comments:
Something doesn't smell right!
You know how people have always suspected that the milk people pay researchers to say milk is good, and the wine people pay researchers to say wine is better, and so on and so forth?
Do you think there's some stool pigeon around, paying researchers...?
G,
I think this research makes pigeons look a bit racy, and not in the old fashioned let's race 'em way. Gamblers, who'd have thought. They don't look the type though they do have have the face of the gambler, blank and difficult to read.
Gambling. Greed. Same difference, haha.
well, with gambling toss in a bit of arrogance and a soupcon of thrill seeking, whereas with greed its more arrogance and conservative it's-all-mine-mine-mine. Looks similar, I admit.
Now, could you be a dear, Dan, give them a map and send them to my orchard. I'm a bit light on nitrogen, you see...
Yes, I forgot the 'thrill seeking' bit.
Though, with greed, there is also the thrill of getting more more more.
By the way, how do pigeons survive winter? Or do they fly south?
Hayden,
Ah, that old nitrogen problem. In my view city dwellers are more aware than country folk that there's not enough shit to go around. Therefore life without pigeons is a sacrifice the rural has to make so we city dwellers can enjoy the 'Pollockian' pleasures these fine birds bestow on our architecture, our motor vehicles, and even sometimes our heads. Bless.
G,
I'm surprised at you, associating gambling with greed. Jeeze, next you'll be associating gambling with banking and where would we all be if that thought caught on?
you're quite right. my neighbor seems to never run out of the stuff, and injects it raw.
no, no! not into himself, into his fields! But I dare say the odd micro-organism that's managed to survive in those sterile fields is less than thrilled to find it sloshed about on them, either.
abundance or dearth, quite the dilemna!
Geese. The answer is geese.
I believe I saw a flyer in the city just yesterday for "nod and poo, nod and poo" - unfortunately it was so, well - "marked" and stained that I couldn't make out what it said, and didn't want to actually touch it.... possibly a local chapter meeting?
Hayden,
A prominent motto in pigeon circles is 'spread the love', or at least I'm sure its 'love' written on the Chapter meeting fliers I saw in Manchester. Similarly my curiosity was not such that I was prepared to scape off the 'love' to see what was really written underneath.
Wait now. D'you think there is a secret message written underneath? They're sneaky creatures, probably well aware they can smear us without our noticing if they cover it well.
Humm......
Pollock is how I've described what hte heron's done to our yard at the back. Also, the mosquito splat on my bedroom wall and waitaminnit, banking isn't gambling? :-O
G,
Ah, that's my little joke. Of course banking is gambling, some have said that banking is a legal form of theft. Whoever asked, 'Which is the greatest thief, the person who robs the bank or the person who founds the bank?' was in my view speaking a truth.
Hey, I didn't realise they had herons in Guyana. I thought heron's were more of a northern bird. There was a heron in my neighbourhood once and I'm sure it at my goldfish.
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