The Ancient Egyptians believed gods...

were made of gold. With so much time having passed are Egyptian gods worth less now? The current gold price would suggest not. A recent news item caused me to ponder: how much is God worth? And what of polyathiesm or a god for every ocassion?  Lets not leave out demi-gods, sub-gods, part time gods, temporary gods, half time gods, job share gods. What of gods on temporary contracts? Does this bring down the cost? Neil Gaiman's novel American Gods posits that gods exist because people believe in them but as belief wanes then so do the gods. I like this notion. Recently my fridge started creaking and groaning. I said "Oh God, don't break". It broke completely. I bought a new fridge. The journey to the local dump with the old fridge was enlivened by a tiny wild haired fridge god complaining that no one ever listened.

I said "That's rich. You didn't listen to me".
It said, "You were whining."
I said, "It was a simple prayer. 'Oh God don't break.'"
It said, "You were exhorting. Where was the liturgy? Where was the style?"
"Liturgy? Style? It's a fridge." I said.
"It might be a fridge to you but it's nirvana to me." It said.
"Look." I said
"What." It said
 "The light went, the pump went, the thing flooded."
It said "So."
I said "You take no responsibility?"
It said "I'm a god not a mechanic. Take a left here."

Arriving at the dump I made to back my car towards a compound in which were fridges as far as the eye could see. Some large, some small, silver fridges, white fridges, chest freezers, side by side fridges, top freezer bottom fridge, bottom freezer top fridge, tiny fridges for cooling beer, medium fridges for galley kitchens. A bothersome of fridge gods jostled to see what was going on.

The fridge god said. "I'll guide you in."
I said, "Okay."
It shouted. "Back, back, back, back, back. Keep on coming. Back, back, back, back. Back, back, back, a little further. Back, back, back, back. Not far now. Back, back. Just a little more. Back, back, back, back."
"Your doing a crossword. I stopped ages ago."
The little god jumped."Fucking hell. Creeping up like that. Made me jump."
"Help me get the fridge out of the car." I said.
"Can't do that." It said.
"Why not." I said.
"After the Jesus debacle we won a 'no carrying of heavy items on final day' clause. It's here under 'Backs' on page 32." It waived a sheaf of papers.
"What about your friends." I nodded to the other gods.
"Ah, you'll notice some of them are a bit faded. No longer up to the job. Been forgotten too long."
"Suppose I'll have to shift it myself then." I said.
"Before you begin I've a question for you." It said.
"Ask away." I said.
"One word, seven letters and means to 'go abruptly'."
"Fuck off." I said.
"That's two words." It said.

Leaving the dump I could hear the fridge god calling to the crowd. "Three down. Nine letters. Begins with S. Means deliverance. C'mon. C'mon."

My new silver fridge arrived the following day and was duly plugged in. The motor hummed, the pump pumped, the door opened, the light came on and a voice said. "12 across. Renewed existence. Seven letters begins with 'R'. C'mon. C'mon."

Who needs gold eh?