Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I was planning not...

to say another thing about dogs until Guyana Gyal posted to me about those with bows in their hair. Grrr. I can't think of a dog joke so here's a budgie one.

How do you turn a budgie into a dog?
Dip it in petrol, throw a match and watch it go WOOF!

Great joke, still makes me laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, urghh, I'm all dizzy now.

I have noticed that dogs with decorative bows are carried everywhere, the little rat faced layabouts. A dangerous occupation though for in evolutionary terms no leg use can so quickly turn into no legs at all. They would then no longer be dogs but trunks. Yapping trunks with tartan collars and perhaps a little bell or one of those squeaky things that when stood upon squeaks. A blessing if it opens new areas of possibility, in bridge safety for instance. Manchester has many railway bridges under which trucks that are too tall can become jammed. By suspending trunks from beneath those bridges in a manner similar to corks on an Australian bush hat such unhappiness might be avoided. One expects the sound of squeaking trunks bumping over a cab roof to be enough warning for most drivers. Only someone with a heart of stone would fail to stop.

The patent office shall hear from me first thing on the morrow.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post brings to mind the saying that "there is a fine line between creativity and madness."

piu piu said...

my grandmother has those kind of dogs. at least she did untilshe gave her last one her heart medecine and finished it off

Hayden said...

I will admit that I like Bichon's. Used to hate them as excessively cute stupid little lap dogs. Anyway, what respectible dog has a breed name of Bichon?

Then I learned that they started as tough/strong fisherman's dogs - good swimmers, easily trained to do small chores - and were picked up later by French royalty to be useless, be-bowed lap doggies. After the french revolution the dogs took to the streets and got picked up by street artists as clever clowns who easily learn to jump through hoops and let budgies ride on them and other useless things that make me laugh.

Tough, flexible, good sense of humor, survivors.... don't hate them because they're cute! Hate the idiots who put a bow in their hair instead of clipping it to keep it out of their eyes...

Dan Flynn said...

P,

Ah what a sweet story, I'm heartbroken to hear of your loss. NOT!

Hayden,

What can one say about rat like dogs that hasn't already been said? I know it's not their fault because they're animals etc Unfortunately my hatred is not rational and therefore there's nothing I can do about it. It's just every time I see one I want to drop kick it over the nearest wall. Harsh I know but hey, millions of years of evolution, we've got the edge. If you don't use it you lose it.

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

An old [Bohemian] lady I knew in Jamaica had a little yappy dog. The blasted thing used to nip my ankles, my jeans, my shoes. And she used to say in her cigarette-deepened voice, "Look at him dahlin, he likes you."

I was too polite to say how I felt about the little shitzu. [Is that how it's spelt?]

Dan Flynn said...

G,

It's just spelled shits.I'm not surprised the little yapping monster attacked you. I think they feel intimidated being so small and consequently have to nip people and bark a lot. To be honest I'm not interested in their motives, little bastards. I'd drop kick everyone of em over that sea wall you occasionally refer too!