at risk shock. And they have thin heads shock. Moles are currently plaguing a school field in the West Midlands town of Rugby. A BBC report shows these supposedly cuddly creatures are also able to snap a child's leg just by looking at it. One local councillor told a reporter "Only last week a mole robbed my seven-year-old granddaughter at gunpoint. Something needs to be done." There is evidence that moles have been tunneling from surrounding parishes to participate in digging up the playing field. Another councillor who wished to remain anonymous said, "Some of these moles are not local." Jethro Lump, Regional Finalist for the Honourable Company of Molestabbers told anyone who would listen, "When I were a lad we respected the elderly. And that's all I'm prepared to say at this juncture." It's a little known mole fact but they protect their paper thin noggins by avoiding stony soil. A representative for the moles said "It's true we don't like stony soil." In the packed community centre during a post bed-time debate tired tots cheered to the rafters on hearing one of their number demand they be issued with toffee hammers as a matter of urgency.
Responding to the children's proposal a mole spokesperson told the BBC, "You can't reason with a mob."
6 comments:
I bet they are undermining your house this very moment. Moles have internet access too, and although they don't see all that well the accessibility features have provided them the tools to keep an eye on their enemies. Beware of the moles dan, they will seek revenge for this post!
You big fibber. That report was nothing of the sort. Besides, moles are cute and you can't deny it.
D,
I'm not frightened of a few moles. Bring em on, bring em on. Little bastards. Wait, what's that noise, OMIGOD It's a giant fucking mole and it's got an axe. Save me, save me...
Ha ha. Only joking. No mole will ever get the better of a Flynn. Oh no.
Annie,
The BBC has edited the film since I first watched it. The truth is too dangerous for them. Oh yes.
Annie,
And they're not cute. They'd undermine the foundations of your house and laugh in your face as it fell down. How can that be right?
Tut tut tut, what is this world coming to? Moles used to be nice, must be all that hanging out with Toad of Toad Hall that corrupted them.
Your mole is a deceptive creature and would steal the breath from an average person's lungs as soon as look them. Me? I'd set the dogs on em. Kill two birds with one stone you see (if you'll pardon the metaphor) this way you can have snapped dogs and masticated moles. A virtuous circle if ever there was one.
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