in the news that wild boars are once again roaming the land, eating sheep and stealing small children, at night, from their beds, using hankies to muffle the tiny cries.
In reply a boar spokesboar (pictured) said "Darling, none of this is true. We're dealing with a witch-hunt here, pure and simple."
In Sussex and Kent gin sodden huntsmen, coats as red as their faces and veins as blue as their politics were seen saddling up for the chase. A boar spokesboar (pictured) said "Darling, these people are savages."
Someone speaking for the Department of the Environment Farming and Rural Affairs (Defra) said, "Only guns and a tremendous amount of bloodshed will sort this problem out."
A boar spokesboar (pictured) said "Darling, I am fucking right off."
3 comments:
The boars could replace the foxes in fox-hunts! Everybody would be happy. (Except the boars.)
Annie,
I think you'll find that many of the Tory bastards are already thinking the very same thing. I suspect there's a fair degree of fetlock stroking currently afoot in the home counties.
Me? I'm for boar solidarity. Let's hear it for the snuffly runny nosed little geeky things with their short legs and mean stare. Dontcha think boars look like they were raised in a tough neighbourhood?
Sarah,
Phwoahhhh!!!! I bet Rupert Campbell-Black is a cad as well as a bounder. Nevertheless I'd still like to ride with his hounds. What?
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