to find God. One of the net headlines today. I've just returned from an afternoon canvassing political opinion for the Respect (anti-war) candidate in Trafford, West Manchester. Not a soul was in, in fact the streets were deserted, houses with doors ajar, half eaten meals on tables, kettles still boiling. Finally a lager drinker in the park tells us everyone's out looking for God. Apparently the Pope's really worried cos he hasn't seen God for sometime so the call's gone out. The Pope's word is taken literally in this part of Manchester. I asked lager man why he wasn't out looking for God and wryly he told me that after a few more cans God would come to him. A good answer, perhaps we should all drink more, especially if God's now available in a can. God in a can whatever next, possibly in a six pack or a case of God, cheaper bought by the dozen. An attractive prospect for the rich who can afford more. No doubt the poor might afford only little cans of God but the wealthy, they can buy tons of God cos capitalism's irrationality is demonstrated in life being cheaper for the rich. George Orwell put it really well when he said that the poor pay more because they can't afford to pay less. When Marx said that under capitalism all human relations are reduced to a cash nexus he clearly meant relations with God as well. Bush and Blair believe that so it must be true.
Imagine if you will the God aisle at the local superstore and getting the God franchise for that, it'd be a license to print money. And what if other religions jumped on the can bandwagon. What if Brahma, Siva, Vishnu or Krishna wanted a piece of the action? Or Thor and Odin, or Zeus? The market would be quickly saturated. Of course there'd still be the bean eaters complaining that God in its pure state was too rich and so the demand for God Lite would arise as sure as night follows day. There'd be a weightwatchers God most probably in a tracksuit and instead of a crucifix for the neck a little silver bathroom scales. Ah, it'd be so neat. All of this would be followed by the inevitable backlash, the pollution, massive landfills for all those empty cans, probably a bit of persecution thrown in as well. The US Food and Drug Administration would declare God a carcinogen. Yeah, yeah, they'd fed tinned God to rats and one of them got cancer. The shelves would be cleared, God would be dumped in those deep ocean trenches... I can see it now. And all because the fucking new Pope's worried about God being out all night clubbing and not yet back. The Pope's new, he's keen, but chill the fuck out. God'll be back, probably a bit stoned, bit hungover, hey he's fucking celebrating your election for Christ's sake!
But what if he doesn't come back? Wouldn't that be the coolest thing.
1 comment:
And then there was Mimi instead.
Maybe it's time for a new religion, the old ones are kinda dull.
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